PIRANHA 3D

Avatar took 3D to a whole new level, transporting us to an exotic foreign planet filled with amazing flora, fauna and cool blue people; but did it have a naked underwater ballet with hot chicks (buxom Kelly Brook and porn star Riley Steele) making out? I didn’t think so…

Spring break finds the usually sleepy Lake Victoria a hot bed of boozed up and horny teenagers, partying it up on the lake free of inhibitions – and modest clothing. Unfortunately a seismic disturbance opens up a cavern between Lake Victoria and previously cut off prehistoric underwater lake; a lake filled with hungry prehistoric piranha all too eager to chow down on partying teenagers. It’s up to a rag tag bunch, including town Sheriff Julie Forrester (Elisabeth Shue) and her son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) to save the day.

But who cares about the plot? Director Alexandre Aja clearly doesn’t, using it only as an excuse to link a series of gruesome deaths and boob shots. Aja is a master of the gruesome death scene, his piece de resistance being the prolonged feeding frenzy that occurs at a wet t-shit competition - the lake soon red with the blood.

I don’t know what Oscar winning Shue was thinking signing up for this but at least she seems to be having fun as the gung ho town sheriff. However it is Jerry O’Connell that has the most fun, hamming it up as Derrick Jones a sleazy pornographer – his comeuppance proves be one of the stupidest, grossest and funniest in the film, and truly shows the majesty of 3D. Jaws fans will get a kick out of Richard Dreyfuss’ cameo.

Piranha 3D won’t win any awards (maybe a Razzie) but it offers a bloodbath of gruesome deaths, a wet t-shirt competition and boobies; lots and lots of 3D boobies. And really, those expecting more should not bother…

3 of 5 Stars – No, really…