DESPICABLE ME

Gru (Steve Carell) is a super villain whose greatest claim to fame is stealing the Time Square Jumbo-Tron and the statue of Liberty or rather the Vegas replica. However Gru finds himself overshadowed by rival upstart Vector (Jason Segel) who manages to steal not only the great pyramids of Giza but the headlines. And so, desperate to beat Vector, and make his aloof mother proud (an under used Julie Andrews), Gru decides to steal the impossible…The Moon!

Trouble is Gru needs some money to complete his plan, and the Evil Bank (what bank isn’t?) won’t lend it to him until he obtains the shrink ray he needs to make the moon transportable; unfortunately Vector has that too. Enter the impossibly cute Margo, Edith and Agnes (Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier and Elsie Fisher), 3 little girls searching for a family. Gru realises that the girls would be perfect for his plan and adopts them with the intention of ditching them once he has his shrink ray; but that is only if they don’t melt his icy villain heart first.

Despicable Me is bright cartoony fun, nothing more, nothing less. Gru might be a villain but being voiced by nice guy Carell makes us root for him and he is at his most loveable interacting with the young girls as a reluctant parent. Vector is an amusing foil and his rivalry with Gru has a lot in common with classic Looney Tunes Coyote and Roadrunner. Similarly Gru’s army of diminutive yellow minions provide great slapstick fun and laughs; but disappointingly the movie’s biggest laughs are in the trailer. In the ranks of animated films Despicable Me never reaches the height of Pixar, but it does offer an enjoyable time for the whole family.

3 of 5 Stars

STEP UP 3D

Oh My God! Step Up 3D is one of like, seriously, the most deep movies I’ve seen in, like, forever. NOT.

Aspiring film-maker Luke (Rick Malambri) runs a wayward home/dance club for aspiring dancers (‘Born from the boom box’) so that they can live their dreams (without paying rent it seems). However his dancing utopia is under threat of bank foreclosure, or to make matters worse, being bought out by dancing rival dance crew leader Julien (Joe Slaughter). Rick and crew’s only chance is to win dance competition ‘World Jam’. And if that plotline wasn’t exciting enough you can also thrown in Luke’s budding romance with sexy dancer Natalie (Home and Away’s Sharni Vinson) who just might be hiding a secret that could tear Luke’s dance crew apart forever! OMG!

Shallower than an episode of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ Step Up 3D is awash with under dog cliques, poorly drawn (and in some cases annoying) characters and trite dialogue.

Tired plot aside Malambri and Vinson do share great onscreen chemistry (both are also very easy on the eye) and do well with the limited material they are given. They are miles ahead of Adam G. Sevani as the irritating Moose who managed to grate on me every time he opened his mouth, or destroyed public property in the name of dance. Seriously, this kid kicks over balloons, steals a guys hate, and throws garbage cans around the street – its meant to be charming but I just wanted to see some bigger badder dancer stomp all over him! I’d also like to single out dancing twins Martin and Facundo Lombard who have 2 of the most grating screen presences in cinema history; stick to dancing boys.

In the end the kinetic dancing sequences are the only reason to see Step Up 3D. I’m no expert in dance, well aside from my A+ mark for my Year 10 School Certificate, but the dance sequences are some of the most impressive I’ve seen; a true visual treat. The 3D effect adds a greater feeling of depth – even if arms popping and locking towards the camera was an overused gimmick. The final dance sequence with its light up uniforms is particularly well choreographed. Fun note: Watch as the villainous Julien’s jacket disappears and reappears at will during the final face-off.

It’s not going to win awards, and I don’t think it wants to, but Step Up 3D does offer an exciting visual treat with attractive stars, dodgy CGI slurpees and some of the best dance sequences to hit the big screen.

3 of 5 Stars

TOMORROW WHEN THE WAR BEGAN

High schooler Ellie Linton (Caitlin Stasey) and her friends escape the small country town of Wirrawee for a much needed break in the bush. However once they return home they find their parents are missing, and their town – and the rest of Australia - has been overrun by a mysterious invading military force. Their backs against the wall the teens resolve to fight back hoping to free their parents and their town.

Based on John Marsden’s beloved series of novels (compulsory reading for many high school students) Tomorrow When the War Began (TWTWB) is director Stuart Beattie’s attempt at an Australian action film that offers Hollywood level spills and thrills. Is he successful? The short answer is yes.

TWTWB offers great action sequences including a car chase involving a garbage truck and a pair gun toting buggies. There are some genuinely suspenseful moments as the teens find themselves stalked by helicopters from above and soldiers on the ground. The film lags when the characters are forced to reflect on their changing circumstances, changes in behaviour while warranted at times ring hollow; but given the compressed nature of a book adaption this is to be expected (I haven’t read any of the books so I am not sure what, if anything, has been lost in translation to the big screen).

Overall the young cast including Rachel Hurd-Wood, Deniz Akdeniz, Pheobe Tonkin, Chris Prang, Ashleigh Cummings and Lincoln Lewis, do their best, making the rag tag group feel like a group of friends; former Neighbours starlet Caitlin Stasey is the definite standout as Ellie the films emotional anchor and narrator. Some of the more emotionally dramatic moments are overwrought so it’s a shame that scene stealer Andrew Ryan’s stoner Chris doesn’t turn up until halfway through as he brings much needed levity to proceedings.

Tomorrow When the War Began is the third Australian film I’ve actually bothered to see at the movies this year; and probably more than I have seen in the last 3 years combined. I applaud Beattie and his crew for making a mainstream film that will appeal to a variety of audiences, and not just those that enjoy small independent films about life in the dreary Australia suburbs! Hopefully box office results are healthy and more films of this ilk can be made – perhaps even Tomorrow’s sequels can find their way to the big screen.

3 ½ of 5 Stars

PIRANHA 3D

Avatar took 3D to a whole new level, transporting us to an exotic foreign planet filled with amazing flora, fauna and cool blue people; but did it have a naked underwater ballet with hot chicks (buxom Kelly Brook and porn star Riley Steele) making out? I didn’t think so…

Spring break finds the usually sleepy Lake Victoria a hot bed of boozed up and horny teenagers, partying it up on the lake free of inhibitions – and modest clothing. Unfortunately a seismic disturbance opens up a cavern between Lake Victoria and previously cut off prehistoric underwater lake; a lake filled with hungry prehistoric piranha all too eager to chow down on partying teenagers. It’s up to a rag tag bunch, including town Sheriff Julie Forrester (Elisabeth Shue) and her son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) to save the day.

But who cares about the plot? Director Alexandre Aja clearly doesn’t, using it only as an excuse to link a series of gruesome deaths and boob shots. Aja is a master of the gruesome death scene, his piece de resistance being the prolonged feeding frenzy that occurs at a wet t-shit competition - the lake soon red with the blood.

I don’t know what Oscar winning Shue was thinking signing up for this but at least she seems to be having fun as the gung ho town sheriff. However it is Jerry O’Connell that has the most fun, hamming it up as Derrick Jones a sleazy pornographer – his comeuppance proves be one of the stupidest, grossest and funniest in the film, and truly shows the majesty of 3D. Jaws fans will get a kick out of Richard Dreyfuss’ cameo.

Piranha 3D won’t win any awards (maybe a Razzie) but it offers a bloodbath of gruesome deaths, a wet t-shirt competition and boobies; lots and lots of 3D boobies. And really, those expecting more should not bother…

3 of 5 Stars – No, really…

SALT

CIA agent Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) finds her world turned upside down when she is accused of being a Russian double agent out to assassinate the Russian President. To make matters worse her husband appears to have been kidnapped – are the two incidences connected? So, with her own country turning against her Evelyn goes on the run to clear her name, save the Russian President and find the man she loves. But despite her protest of innocence can Salt really be trusted?

Director Phillip Noyce has crafted a well paced thriller full of twists and turns, expertly subverting expectations with each new revelation. Tension levels are constantly raised in a series of spectacular action sequences that prove that whoever she is Evelyn Salt is not someone to be messed with; the female Jason Bourne we have been waiting for.

Jolie handles the thrilling action sequences with aplomb while also imbuing Salt with a vulnerability to ensure that whatever her true identity we are firmly in her corner. She is supported by the talented Liev Schreiber as her CIA boss and Chiwetel Ejiofor as the man tasked with bringing her in at any cost.

While Salt is a tight thrill but I doubt the plots many twists and turns would hold up if put under close examination. Indeed its major failing is that the final revelation stretches the bounds of credibility just a bit too much. But despite that Salt remains a thoroughly enjoyable thriller which manages to build momentum right up till the final shot; which hints (hopefully) of a follow up adventure…

4 of 5 Stars

SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD

Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) has met the girl of his dreams in cool indie chick Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). However the road to true love is paved with complications, like Scott’s current girlfriend Knives (Ellen Wong), oh and Ramona’s seven exes; all of them evil and all of them wanting to lay the smack down on Scott.

Based on a series of graphic novels by Bryan O’Malley Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (SPVTW) is a quirky romantic comedy cum battle royal which plays out like a big screen arcade game complete with power-ups, extra lives and defeated foes turning to coin.

For reasons that only make sense within the Scott Pilgrim Universe Scott must battle and defeat each of Ramona’s exes before they can be together. Each of the exes had their own special set of powers or abilities to test Scott – the oddest being an Ex who derives his super powers from his veganism. While the exes are fun 7 of them start to take their toll. And as SPVTW devolves into endless fight scene after fight scene it neglects to give us a deeper reason for why Scott is willing to risk his life for Ramona, other than he really likes her; hardly the stuff of epic love.

It’s a shame that SPVTW focuses on the very dull Scott and Ramona because it is filled with quirky well drawn characters, from Ramona’s distinctive exes (including upcoming Captain America Chris Evans and former Superman Brandon Routh) to Scott’s gay roommate Wallace Wells (Kieran Culkin). Indeed Culkin is a real scene stealer, his character providing garnering the biggest laughs. SPVTW does try hard to be funny, but like the love story, the laughs fall flat; although tell that to the guy elsewhere in the cinema who laughed. Every. Damn. Time. Someone. Opened. Their. Mouth!

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is disappointing because while it is a spectacular visual treat (kudos to director Edgar Wright) the lack of a compelling story leaves it all sparkle and no substance.

2 of 5 Stars